September 2011
1 post
3 tags
FWENDS
kramerbish:
June 2010
1 post
January 2010
2 posts
WatchHere’s a video written by Zoe Jarman that I am in with her and Sean Clements.
I worked on this character for seven months.
August 2009
3 posts
WatchRidiculous movie names and ridiculous people names?! This is right up my alley. I love this.
purns:
zachlinder:
Videos like this is why the Internet was invented.
[via anthonyking]
So much work clearly went into this. I love it so.
July 2009
3 posts
WatchThis is a video I wrote that the NY division of UCBComedy did an awesome job with.
Kula performed this with me at CDR Sketch in LA, and independent of that knowledge, Will Hines cast the Kula-esque Tim Martin in the same part. WEEEEEIRD.
WatchUCB Comedy parody of the Orphan trailer - written by Courtney Pape & Directed by Harrison Brown
WatchI wrote and shot this with Kula and Appel at Funny or Die yesterday.
In memory of Bill Paxton….Pullman! Bill Pullman
June 2009
4 posts
WatchHere is a video I wrote for UCBComedy and made with Harrison Brown out here in LA. One of the real Pizza Hut pizzas I bought had a hair on it! Way to go, Pizza Hut!
i want to start in france with a shotgun
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED A TEXT BASED ADVENTURE
Stranger: AWESOME1
Stranger: WHERE DO I START!?
You: You are working at an automobile manufacturing plant
Stranger: I WANT TO START IN FRANCE WITH A SHOTGUN!
You: A piece of metal is on the conveyor belt in front of you
You: Press 1 to flatten the metal
Stranger: I GRAB THE METAL AND CUT MY BOSS'S HEAD OFF WITH IT!
Stranger: JAIL HERE I COME!
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED GRAB THE METAL AND CUT MY BOSS'S HEAD OFF WITH IT!
You: Press 1 to flee
Stranger: 1
You: Press 2 to incite a riot
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 2
Stranger: YES 2
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED FLEE
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
You: Press 1 to run on foot
You: Press 2 to take your Nissan Altima
Stranger: I'm hungry...
You: INVALID ENTRY
Stranger: 2
You: Press 3 to steal your boss's Jaguar
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 34
Stranger: 3
You: You have selected NISSAN ALTIMA
You: You are driving the NISSAN ALTIMA
You: Press 1 to turn yourself over to the authorities
You: Press 2 to drive to Mexico and start a new life as "Greg Titsburg"
Stranger: 2
You: Press 3 to enlist in secret brotherhood of metal wielding assassins
You: You have selected GREG TITSBURG
You: Mexican Authorities have become suspicious of your silly name
You: They have handed you over to the police
Stranger: Bust a cap in every cop I see.
You: Your Nissan Altima has been repossessed
You: GAME OVER
Stranger: ON NOEZ!
Stranger: I LOST THE GAME!
You have disconnected.
April 2009
6 posts
Jovi
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hey
You: Tommy used to work on the docks
Stranger: and what a fucking legend he was
You: union's been on strike
You: He's down on his luck - It's tough
You: so tough.
Stranger: he brings something home. what?
You: Gina works the diner all day
Stranger: whoah
You: we're half way there
You: whoah-oah!
Stranger: we're living on a prayer
You: take my hand
Stranger: and we'll make it i swear...
You: whoah-oah
You: LIVING ON A PRAYER
You: that was pretty lame of both of us
You have disconnected.
number party
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: NUMBER PARTY!
You: 23!
You: 678!
Stranger: 19
Stranger: 26
You: 56
You: 1,234
Stranger: 73
Stranger: 7
You: 8,090,789
Stranger: 3
You: 5
You: 155
Stranger: Over 9000
You: 58,762
You: okay now just the even numbers!
You: 24
Stranger: 36
You: 12
You: 6
Stranger: 8096
You: 800
Stranger: 666
You: okay now give it up for the odd numbers
Stranger: 13
You: 57
Stranger: 79
You: 35219
Stranger: 1005
You: 3727
You: lemme see those square numbers!
You: 49!
You: i said, 49!
You: come on y'all, it's your turn!
Stranger: i can't do math :(
You have disconnected.
Guess the Movie
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: hey
You: try and guess this movie title
Stranger: guess?
You: i'm going to replace a word with the word "deertick"
Stranger: ok
You: "Back to the Deertick"
Stranger: hum
Stranger: i seek
Stranger: world ?
Stranger: alabama ?
You: uh
You: i'll try again
Stranger: ok
Stranger: :)
You: "Deertick to the Future"
Stranger: RETURN
Stranger: :D
You: hm
You: ok
You: one more try
Stranger: ok
You: "Back to deertick Future."
Stranger: back to the return ?
You: yes
You: it was back to the return
You: great job
Stranger: :)
You have disconnected.
Monster List Is Not a Game
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: YOU HAVE SELECTED MONSTER LIST You: 1. Frankenstein You: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! Stranger: exorcist You: NOW IT’S MY TURN! You: 3. werewolf You: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! Stranger: blair witch project You: NOW IT’S MY TURN! You: 5. mummy You: NOW IT’S YOUR TURN! Stranger: wait…that’s not...
Onion News Network wins Peabody; area man... →
chriskula:
Congrats to Kukoda, Carol, Will, Lang, Chris Kelly and all the other talented folks at ONN - but especially to ME. Seeing how the Journal story cites the best piece I ever wrote for the site—
Like the Onion’s printed matter, the Onion News Network’s faux-earnest tone sometimes results in its jokes being taken seriously, like a viral hit called “Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation...
Another Omegle Chat Game
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi! You: you have selected a text based adventure You: you are in a classroom You: you are bored Stranger: ok You: do you want to look in the desk? Stranger: yes You: THERE IS A PIECE OF PAPER IN THE DESK! You: do you want to doodle on the paper or turn it into an airplane? Stranger: yes You: INVALID ENTRY You: do you want to doodle...
I may have become obsessed with Omegle chat
Omegle is a chat site that picks another user at random and lets you have a one-on-one anonymous chat with a complete stranger.
I have spent too much time doing this today.
——
Stranger: hi You: YOU HAVE SELECTED A TEXT BASED ADVENTURE You: you are in a warehouse You: do you want to turn on the lights or look in the boxes? Stranger: look in the boxes You: you have looked...
March 2009
5 posts
February 2009
4 posts
January 2009
6 posts
WatchIf I ever do pick myself up in a time machine, I will definitely wait until some point where I’m standing in a drive-way.
paulscheer:
“CLOTHES TO THE FUTURE”
I love anything related to Back To the Future so when Eric Appel at Funny or Die came up with this idea for a new video, I was in. I hope you like it.
WatchA wrote the first few drafts of this one released today.
Bassist Wanted! →
Everyone should buy Porter Mason’s book collecting comic strips from “Bassist Wanted.
It’s a really great cartoon about music, and now you can hold it in your ACTUAL HANDS.
Do it!
WatchI actually left the Onion in August, but some of my videos are still trickling out.
I was super excited about this one. It was my idea and script and I knew they filmed it, but I just assumed they canned it for some reason because it had been so long. The performances are really great!
December 2008
2 posts
WatchNothing says Christmas like a commercial parody by Eric Drysdale.
“we bought one of your candy bags and we found bugs in the bags. and my found a...”
– an actual email my company just got that was not spam
Please note that my company is not in the business of selling bags of candy.
(via sharingtime)
I am starting a new tumblr policy. If something makes me LOL, I will reblog it. (This is better than my more recent new policy, where I reblog some...
October 2008
5 posts
Falconry Extravaganza →
Charlie Todd reminded me of what I originally said this blog was going to be about
They’ve promised flight demonstrations, but no battles.
See you on Sunday!
Watch
WatchThis might be my favorite Funny or Die Exclusive yet.
erockappel:
T-Pain vs. His Vocoder
Starring me, T-Pain, and Chad Carter as the voice of T-Pain’s vocoder. Written by Chad Carter. Directed by Jake Syzmanski.
September 2008
9 posts
I Talk About An Adorable Sleeping Ferret →
Funny People →
aubreyplaza:
So…I guess I am going to be in the next Judd Apatow movie. It’s called FUNNY PEOPLE. I play a young stand up comedian. I am in Los Angeles shooting this until the winter. I have no idea what is going on.
See, New Yorkers? I didn’t murder her.
McSoulPatch →
My friend Katey alerted me to this. I filmed this commercial for a restaurant called “McDonalds” last January. I am playing a small part in their effort to destroy Starbucks.
WatchLet Eugene blow your mind with technology!!!!!!!
charlietodd:
My buddy Eugene made this and my friend Craig edited it. It is hilarious.
WatchPoor Zac Efron
(I wrote the script for this Onion Vid)