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Hawks vs Falcons Vs Eagles

My name is Joe Wengert.
I live in Los Angeles.
I work for the Upright Citizens Brigade Training Center.
I perform improv every Monday night at the UCB with "The Smokes."
I also enjoy writing and performing stand up comedy.
I am interested in collecting collages, drawings, photos, and videos depicting these majestic birds of prey battling each other.
I will eventually neglect this blog.

Aug 18

Here is my set from Crash Test at UCB-LA on Monday August 17th.

FUN FACT: Since I flew in only hours before after a week of drinking too much and little sleep, I am actually asleep for this entire performance.

Aug 13

Here is me doing stand up comedy at the UCB in New York City. This is a great caption.

Aug 03

Ridiculous movie names and ridiculous people names?! This is right up my alley. I love this.

purns:

zachlinder:

Videos like this is why the Internet was invented.

[via anthonyking]

So much work clearly went into this. I love it so.

Jul 31

This is a video I wrote that the NY division of UCBComedy did an awesome job with.

Kula performed this with me at CDR Sketch in LA, and independent of that knowledge, Will Hines cast the Kula-esque Tim Martin in the same part. WEEEEEIRD.

Jul 30

UCB Comedy parody of the Orphan trailer - written by Courtney Pape & Directed by Harrison Brown

Jul 04

I wrote and shot this with Kula and Appel at Funny or Die yesterday.

In memory of Bill Paxton….Pullman! Bill Pullman

Jun 25

Here is my stand up set from last night’s Small Gravy. Bear with me as I try to tag the set before me and nearly forget EVERYTHING I was going to say. (Keen listeners should also be able to pick out which jokes good old Sean Clements really enjoys.)

This is the first time I’m video taped myself. It’s not as horrific as I was expecting, but goddamn do I push my glasses up a lot, which I have chosen as my thumbnail.

Jun 24

Just in time for the release of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, here’s a video of me doing at bit about my favorite line from the trailer at CDR Sketch at the UCB Theater in LA. (SPOILER: The video quality is TERRIBLE!)

Jun 23

Here is a video I wrote for UCBComedy and made with Harrison Brown out here in LA. One of the real Pizza Hut pizzas I bought had a hair on it! Way to go, Pizza Hut!

Jun 08

i want to start in france with a shotgun

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED A TEXT BASED ADVENTURE
Stranger: AWESOME1
Stranger: WHERE DO I START!?
You: You are working at an automobile manufacturing plant
Stranger: I WANT TO START IN FRANCE WITH A SHOTGUN!
You: A piece of metal is on the conveyor belt in front of you
You: Press 1 to flatten the metal
Stranger: I GRAB THE METAL AND CUT MY BOSS'S HEAD OFF WITH IT!
Stranger: JAIL HERE I COME!
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED GRAB THE METAL AND CUT MY BOSS'S HEAD OFF WITH IT!
You: Press 1 to flee
Stranger: 1
You: Press 2 to incite a riot
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 2
Stranger: 2
Stranger: YES 2
You: YOU HAVE SELECTED FLEE
Stranger: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
You: Press 1 to run on foot
You: Press 2 to take your Nissan Altima
Stranger: I'm hungry...
You: INVALID ENTRY
Stranger: 2
You: Press 3 to steal your boss's Jaguar
Stranger: 3
Stranger: 34
Stranger: 3
You: You have selected NISSAN ALTIMA
You: You are driving the NISSAN ALTIMA
You: Press 1 to turn yourself over to the authorities
You: Press 2 to drive to Mexico and start a new life as "Greg Titsburg"
Stranger: 2
You: Press 3 to enlist in secret brotherhood of metal wielding assassins
You: You have selected GREG TITSBURG
You: Mexican Authorities have become suspicious of your silly name
You: They have handed you over to the police
Stranger: Bust a cap in every cop I see.
You: Your Nissan Altima has been repossessed
You: GAME OVER
Stranger: ON NOEZ!
Stranger: I LOST THE GAME!
You have disconnected.